Surrender to Disappointment
So it’s the hustle and bustle of the holiday, all leading up to this wondrous event full of gifts, love, food, and cheer. Except the reality is.. you didn’t get what you wanted, you got into a huge fight with a family member, you are going vegan on 12/26 because you have eaten too much, and instead of cheer you have been struck by the HOLIDAY BLUES. Yes, that’s right, rather than this joyous occasion you anticipated you have found yourself in a big old heap of “yuck!”
Yes, it has happened to us all, and the question that remains is why year after year after year do we continuously set our sights on an exorbitant amount of expectation, often to be hit hard by disappointment? I believe there are several theories on this. It could be our consumeristic culture, our fantasy about our reality, our beliefs and values, or my personal favorite the desire for “positive” experiences rather than “negative.” Regardless where the issue lies, what feels more important is to personally propose an invitation to you to surrender all expectations.
What does that mean, you ask? What it means is the ability to not be attached to any particular outcome. Think of it this way, your boss was kind enough to host the entire staff in her home for a Holiday Soiree. “Wow, what a treat” you think! You begin to fantasize about the world class feast she will serve, the lavish cocktails, and the really big bonus check with your name on it. After all, she is the “Boss Lady” so it’s gotta be good right? Except the reality is its tacos, two buck chuck wine, and no dice on the bonus check.
The invitation is to reality, not fantasy. To this moment, not the one that came before or the one after. When we enter into this space we are available to be open to so many more possibilities. We are available to embrace what ever may unfold before us. I offer this to you not just for your holiday festivities, but also as an invitation for your entire next year.
Last year at this time, I was planning a goal setting webinar for new private practice business owners. We were going to map out our whole year, set some hard lined goals and take over the world! This “goal session” did not generate that result exactly. Instead, I had the most successful year in business yet, got engaged to the love of my life, and conquered some pretty big hurdles. None of these things were planned, none of these things were on my “goal list.” Instead, they arrived with my ability to totally surrender to the unfolding of my perfect, imperfect life.
So, whether it be just getting through the month of December or setting your sights on how you want to walk through this next year. Don’t demand that it all look a certain way, or have a certain feeling. Allow it just to be. There is no greater gift you can give yourself than letting go of expectation and being in total connection with what is. And there is no greater gift you can give to someone else than the space for them to also let go of expectations and arrive exactly as they are.